As I've lived and hopefully grown I've learned that there are many journeys we will take throughout this life. Some that we place upon ourselves and some that we are given. Although each journey has its own path and lessons that abide with it, I know that the only way to conquer them is to turn to our Father in Heaven and stand side by side with our Savior to truly come to an understanding of each step we take through our journeys.
We found out we were expecting our third little baby on November 20, 2010. We were excited and hoping for a little boy. Thus far, we have defnitely enjoyed our journey as parents, but were definitely a little apprehensive as to adding a third baby. I wanted it so much, but just wasn't sure it was the best timing. Sometimes, I've learned, Heavenly Father has a little hand in the timing of things.
On December 30, 2010 we went in for our first appointment. We were given an ultrasound at that appointment to measure the dates and to recieve and accurate due date. As the ultrasound tech performed the ultrasound we were excited to see our third little baby for the first time. The ultrasound quickly came to a close and the ultrasound tech became quiet and typed her report. As I read what she typed I could tell something seemed to be wrong. The doctor came in as she was finishing the report and gave a solemn mmm... Then proceeded to explain to us that a measurement at the back of the neck (the nuchal translucency) was measuring large at 4.0 mm, usually found below 2.0mm. The doctor then explained to us that our baby has an increased risk of being born with a chromosome disorder, most likely Down Syndrome.
We left the office that day feeling confused and as though what we were told was a certain outcome. I cried, I questioned, I went from expecting a healthy little baby to a very uncertain future.
As I read through the paperwork given to us by the doctor, I focused on the Chromosome Abnormality information. I read about a First Trimester Screen that would allow us to have another ultrasound and bloodwork drawn to come up with a ratio of the likelihood our baby had a chromosome disorder. I called the following Monday and scheduled to go in on January 11, 2011.
During the appointment at the Perinatal clinic, the doctor didn't give us much more reassuring news. The nuchal translucency still measured large (can be seen above, the black space behind the babies head and neck area) and the dr. wasn't able to find the lower left arm. She told us that our baby didn't likely have Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21), but most likely had Trisomy 13 or 18. Which means the 13th or 18th chromosome is tripled and if we wanted to know we needed to perform the diagnostic testing within 2 days. I had already done research on all of these disorders and was well aware that children with Trisomy 13 or 18 may survive to birth, but would not live longer than a year because of the severe complications that occur. I was devastated and couldn't believe that this was the news I was hearing, I was sure we would be told that things were okay. So, with fear we were faced with and an even more uncertain future we chose to have the testing done the next day.
The procedure took quite a bit of time to prepare for and we were told that there was a high chance of a miscarriage mainly because the circumstances of this pregnancy showed we wouldn't likely carry this baby to term anyway. They used the ultrasound throughout the procedure and used a long needle to obtain a sample from the placenta. We would find out the fate of our little baby within a week. I had no complications arrise from the procedure and stayed on pins and needles throughout the next weeking waiting to hear the dreaded news.
On January 19 we were told that our baby did not have Trisomy 13, 18 or 21 and that it was a little BOY!! I was so excited to hear the news after feeling like the dr's made it out to be certain our baby had some type of chromosome disorder. A day later we recieved the call stating all 46 chromosomes came back normal. However, we were told that there was a chance that the baby still had a chromsome issue and we would discuss further testing at our next appointment.
On January 26 we went in to meet with the specialists again. We were told that the baby still didn't have a left hand, but had both of the bones in the lower left arm. The nuchal translucency, now the nuchal fold was now measuring in the normal range, which is a positive sign. We chose not to have any further testing done on the sample that was taken and to try to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.
I felt movements from my little guy on February 2 and they keep getting stronger and stronger. I can't believe what a joy it is to feel the little kicks and turns. It literally brings a smile to my face and a light to my day each time I feel him move.
On February 23 we went in and saw our little boy again. He has a smile on his face in this picture. He is growing well and moves a lot!! The dr's can hardly get still images of him. The dr said she was sure I didn't feel every movement he made and that was a good thing- because he is a mover! I wouldn't mind feeling them all though. Our little boy definitely doesn't have a left hand and the reason behind it is unknown at this time. I can't help but think what I did wrong, but there isn't anything I've done or haven't done to cause this. They are monitoring his heart closely for possible defects, which can be related to a left arm problem. So far it looks normal, we will meet with the Pediatric cardiologist on March 30th. Then we'll meet with an Orthopeadic surgeon in the third trimester. The drs will continue to monitor his growth and we will hopefully meet our little boy around July 23, 2011.
Throughout this experience I have definitely had the opportunity for growth. I went from wondering how we would do with a third child to wondering if we would be given the opportunity to have this little baby. I have questioned a lot and prayed even more. I know that our Father in Heaven has a reason for everything and I know that this little boy will be more of a blessing to our family than I can even imagine right now. I'm so gratefulf for this experience. It has given me the opportunity to question my Saviors love and to understand it all over again and in a whole new light. I know that our Savior loves us and stands by our side, I know that he is there for us no matter how high the waters may come. As hard as it may be at times to lean on him, I am slowly learning that if I do I can conquer things that I would have never imagined and even come out understanding a little more in the end.
Our little boy will be named Christian Rafael. Christian, follower of Christ, after my Great Grandfather whom I remember with such fondness. Such a loving, gentle man with a great smile, oh how I loved sitting on his lap in his recliner. Rafael, meaning God has healed, Antonio's Grandfather, whom I only met once, but in the one meeting he told me of his belief of Angels and how he knows that they exist among us. May both of these dear men be Angels guiding my little boy throughout his life on this earth. I'm sure they have already been by his side as God has played a role in helping our little boy to have a chance at survival in this world.
