Pretty Girl

Such a beauty. All dressed up to go to Wal Mart!! Today as we were decorating for Christmas she asked about the stockings. I told her that they were left out for Santa Claus to fill the night before Christmas. She said that she wanted him to come now so she could see him. I explained that he only comes when you're asleep. She then proclaimed, "mom, I'm so tired. I really need to go to sleep." So sweet!

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I want some...

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Ready for church

My 3 little kiddos are absolutely adorable! I love getting them ready for church. It's the one day I can make everything just right and hope to keep it that way for half of the day, until we return home. I love picking out their outfits and even more I love it when they match. I'm not sure why...but it's fun!

This week I ran into a blog that had a pattern for the skirts my girls are wearing. I'm not the best seamtress, but I gave it a shot. I think they turned out pretty cute! Then I made flowers to go with their skirts, because us girls like the accessories!

Miss Emma Rose's skirt was the first to be finished earlier in the week and she was very excited that I had made her a skirt. She told a woman at church today "my mommy made this for me". She was very happy with my effort.

I made Hallie's skirt Saturday after they went to bed. So when she woke up on Sunday I got her dressed and she had the biggest smile on her face and threw herself on me, hugging and kissing me with excitement and joy beaming off of her. She'd take a step back, look down at her outfit and preceed to give me hugs and kisses all over again. She did this three times. I say that was the best reimbursement I could've ever asked for. It's so much fun doing things for my family and even more fun when I get to witness the joy I may have brought to them.

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Exercise

After having a baby the only way to lose the weight is to EXERCISE! With three kiddos, it's a little hard to find the time. Thankfully Antonio has been letting me run with my sister in the morning. I decided to do some pilates when I returned from my run to stretch out a little. So, I let Emma and Hallie exercise with me.

Emma did really well following along. She would watch the tv and turn and look at me and try her hardest to get it right. I figured it was a lesson in following instructions. Exercise and learning in one!

Hallie had fun rolling around and watching what we were doing. Right on track for a two year old! She's so sweet!

Bath Time

My baby boy absolutely loves bath time! It's the time of day that I am sure to get a smile out of him. I love bath times because I'm able to lather him up with yummy smelling lotion and cuddle him while feeling his soft skin and smelling his hair. I guess we both love bath time!

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Tummy Time

Christian is getting so big! He is enjoying tummy time and is getting stronger by the day. He uses his left arm to hold himself up. I'm excited to see him grow and develop...I'm sure nothing can stand in his way. His orthopedic doctor seems to think that he will adapt to everything just fine. She said that very few kids with a limb difference need therapy or extra support and most will reject the use of a prosthetic. Only time will tell what Christian will need, but for now he is doing well. And is as cute as a button! I just love my little boy!

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Cuddle time with Daddy

Daddy has been gone a lot lately. He is working hard at work and at school, we're so proud of him! While he is home, though, we take advantage! Every second we get we cuddle, play and laugh with him! Daddy is the best!

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6 weeks old

Hello world!! Today I'm 6 weeks old and happier than ever! The first doctor's that saw me said I probably wouldn't make it...but I am growing strong. I love to eat and I stay true to the wording on my shirt, I'm definitely my mommy's alarm clock, whether she needs one or not. I've smiled a lot since I was born, but I just started smiling while my mommy is talking to me. This makes her very happy because it means my development is right on track. I love taking baths if they're really warm and sleeping on my tummy (which my mom doesn't let me do often). I'm getting very strong and can lift my head well. I am a very happy boy, I would say much more calm and mellow than those other two that run around and scream all the time, soon I'll be running around with them. Mom doesn't want me to grow too fast though!

Personality wise

From the minute our children are born (or even before) we're wondering who they'll look like and how their personality will be. It's very clear that Emma resembles me and Hallie resembles her dad. So, what about their personalities....

This morning Emma has been consumed with her educational materials that I've been introducing to her. She is intent on completing her tasks and doing them until she thinks its good enough.

...and Hallie you ask??? What has she been up to?

Mastering her acrobat abilities, of course!
I'll let you decide who they take after personality wise!

As for Christian, well, right now he's nothing short of perfection!

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The Meaning of Life

I can't say that I don't struggle being a mom. Some days are just plain hard. Especially when the world convinces you that you're of more worth if your out there climbing ladders and making $$. However....

When i walk into my living room and see my beautiful babe lying fast asleep on the couch, I can't help but feel as though I've climbed mountains with and for the three beautiful children I have. My sacrifice has been made in putting aside the $$ and keeping my children safe at my side. Not having to drop them off every morning and leave them with people in the business of raising kids...that is taller than any ladder I can climb and worth more than any amount of money.

Children are the meaning of life. They are what I do and who I am...I truly love my babes. I am blessed to have each of them entrusted to me, what a wonderful responsibility!

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3 days to go!

My dear Christian will come into this world the morning of July 12th. He will be delivered at 38 weeks 3 days gestation. We are so excited to meet him! The end of this pregnancy has definitely lengthened the journey. We have had to have monitoring done weekly due to high amniotic fluid and some high blood pressure readings. Plus we've seen the obstetrician weekly. Most of these appointments completely wear me out. We usually sit for 2 hrs during the monitoring because my little boy will not move on command. However, at our last appointment yesterday his daddy thought it would be wise if he listened to a little Mozart during the monitoring. Daddy has played Mozart for each pregnancy and guess what?! It worked! This little boy danced and moved and twisted and kicked! We were outta there in record time!
Although all health concerns have been cleared to this point, i was told that we would most likely be in for a nicu stay. They say they want to monitor him to make sure all is okay. Im tired of all the medical run around and am not thrilled at all to deal with a hectic nicu experience compared to the peaceful bonding I've experienced with my girls. However, I'll do what needs to be done for my boy. Then hopefully, if all is well we can go home and be left alone.
I'm thrilled to meet my little boy and to get a glimpse of all that he will teach me!

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The Inquisitive Threes

Lately Emma has been asking questions for everything. She's trying to understand the process and reasoning behind everything. This is a conversation we had in the car last night on the way home.

Emma: Mom, can I sit in a big seat?

Mom: No.

Emma: Because why I can't sit in a big seat?

Mom: Because it's not safe and if we got in an accident you would get very hurt.

Emma: Why would I get very hurt.

Mom: Because your car seat is just the right size for you and if protects you.

Emma: Why does it protect me?

Mom: So you can grow big and strong.

Emma: But why do I need to grow big and strong?

Mom: So you can be here with Mommy and learn and grow.

Emma: But why do I need to learn and grow?

Mom: So one day you can be a Mommy.

Emma: What did you say?

Mom: So you can be a Mommy, don't you want to be a Mommy? (her favorite thing to play)

Emma: Yes I do Mom, I want to be a Mommy.

Mom: Then we need to keep you safe.

Emma: No, Mom, I think I want to be a daddy...*laughing*

Mom: Oh really, you want to be a daddy?

Emma: I'm silly, huh Mom? I want to be a daddy.

So, in a round about way we finally concluded our discussion on safety and with a little bit of her dad's humor thrown in at the end she proves to be a person that has the need to be informed, like her mother, and the desire to keep life light, like her dad. She sure is great. Now imagine this questioning with just about every conversation we have throughout the day!

Christian Rafael

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Our little Christian is growing! He now weighs 2lbs 4oz. He has chubby cheeks and his daddy's lips. We can't wait to meet our little boy. Only 12 weeks left to go. Grow baby grow!

Sisterly Love

My Dear Girls,

Although you may not always get along, you're always there for eachother in a time of need.

That's what sisters are for!

Emma Rose climbed into bed to sleep with Hallie the night she hurt her arm. I panicked when I didn't find her in her bed, only to find them both together. I'm surprised there wasn't a fighting match when this happened. It goes to show sometimes sisters just need eachother. I'm glad they have that!

This is just one of the many hugs you girls give eachother throughout the day to say "sorry" or after waiting for the other to wake up for a nap. Your personalities may definitely conflict... but I know the bond is there!!

I love you girls!

Birthday Breaks...

My hubby turned 29 on Thursday, March 31. He wanted to do a barbeque, last minute. So, I purchased all the items, rushed home and prepared the food- I was hoping for a nice dinner out. As frustrated as I may have been, because I don't do last minute very well, I knew he needed a break... He works so hard for our family and deserves what little he asks for. He. of course, had plenty of help blowing out the candles, Miss Emma's favorite thing to do. The girls were outside playing while Antonio barbequed the meat and Little miss Hallie fell off the ladder climbing to the slide. She was pretty shooken up, she had hurt her arm and didn't use it too much, but seemed to get over it as the night progressed.

The following day, Friday, we went to the Nuclear Museum. Antonio and the girls are obsessed with planes, so he had been wanting to take them there. He had this day off of work because he was taking a BREAK before he starts his new job on Monday. So, we headed off to the museum where we learned and played a lot with the girls... sometimes I'm glad I'm not that much of a history buff, it can be pretty depressing.

We thought we'd take Hallie into the doctors, just in case. However, she woke up that morning using her arm and played throughout the day with it, so we decided she was fine.

Saturday came and went and I noticed in the early afternoon her arm was a little swollen. So, we decided to take her into the urgent care. While in the waiting room, she had Emma from behind holding both of her arms back because she wanted to play with the toy Emma had. Ton and I looked at eachother and shook our heads thinking, what are we doing here?? I'm pretty sure the other parents, that obviously had more issues thought the same thing.

However, as the doctor examined her arm he was certain there was a fracture. He said she was one tough girl to go two days with a fracture and no complaints or tears. The x ray verified that there was a fracture, so they proceeded to splint and sling her. She was the ideal little patient, she sat and let them do their job...which is unlike her! She was pretty exhausted by the end of the visit and quickly fell asleep on the way home. So, we end my hubbies birthday this year with a definite break in our two year olds arm... how sad! We definitely feel like horrible parents... but who'd know... she was playing and using it just fine! Hopefully she'll recover quickly, but she has sure been a sport with her splint. She's already trying to climb the same ladder, but we're not letting her.

Look Up!

I always seem to forget the point of pregnancy where you feel as though you can cry in an instant, scream in an instant and in a good moment, laugh in an instant. This past week has definitely been one of those weeks. With a lot of things going on and time to sit and think about all that has happened over the past few months and what is yet to come....my emotions just don't mix too well with it.

So...because I am who I am I sit, I question, I ponder and think about EVERYTHING! Little Christian has come to my mind often. With the joy I feel that he will most likely make it safely into our arms, I begin questioning what happened with his hand....what did I do wrong?? I am definitely scared to step into the unknown with him and be the mom that holds him up to no limits. I put so many limits on myself because sometimes I just don't feel good enough. Now I've been trusted with this boy, to raise him, to guide him, to help him know that he is more than most would ever imagine him to be.

I like to think that I have the faith to handle this situation, thus far, to know that we will move along and become stronger in the experiences that we are handed. However, this past week, it's been a little harder, with the realities of life and the world weighing down. In my moments of despair... I can't help but turn to support groups that I've come across about people who have lived with the same thing. Although this world may hold those who are different down to a lower standard, these people definitely prove otherwise. Hopefully, I can be that driving force in my sons life... somewhere along the line I've got to find the strength... Motherhood definitely gives me strength.

www.tonymemmel.com - This man was born without his left forearm and never let it hinder him. He is now an accomplished musician that has recorded music and plays the guitar.

Basketball playerThis man received a scholarship to play on a college basketball team.

Hiking accident
This man cut off his own arm during a hiking accident and looks at it as a blessing rather than a tragedy.

I know that in moments where I tend to look down...I just need to keep looking up! We all have obstacles to face and overcome, that are hard in the moment, but bring about much growth in the end. I'm positive Christian will amaze me from the beginning. Here's to that "leap of faith" into the unknown. Armed with love and knowledge of the gospel and examples from some really amazing people who set their own limits...not work on limitations, we will be successful!

My Emma

I have to tell you that I absolutely love this new stage of mothering, where my children are understanding what I am doing with them and can interact with me. Maybe it's the teacher in me, but I couldn't wait until one of my children was old enough to want to sit and learn with me.

I'm not saying it's always easy to find the motivation with everything else on my to do lists, but it's worth it when I do!

Lately I've been working with Emma on writing her name and reading duo stories that are part Mommy read and part Emma read. Many days when I don't feel motivated because I'm SOOO tired she'll say, "Mommy, can we please learn please?". I am so pleased that she has the desire to sit and learn with me.

Today as I was helping Emma clean the playroom and folding laundry she called me in there and said, "Mommy come look, I drew a face". This was the picture she led me to and then preceded to draw it over and over. I have so much fun watching her discover new things and abilities all on her own. Now, I'm going to sit down with her and have her draw a self portrait, then we can do it every so often to see her progress- so much fun!! But of course that's the Kindergarten teacher coming out. So far she knows the letters S, A, E, M, I and the words I, see, and we are working on me. Now my goal is to make it an almost daily activity and then she'll really catch on, consistency is the key!! Although she can be IMPOSSIBLE at times, I truly love this age!

Journey

As I've lived and hopefully grown I've learned that there are many journeys we will take throughout this life. Some that we place upon ourselves and some that we are given. Although each journey has its own path and lessons that abide with it, I know that the only way to conquer them is to turn to our Father in Heaven and stand side by side with our Savior to truly come to an understanding of each step we take through our journeys.

We found out we were expecting our third little baby on November 20, 2010. We were excited and hoping for a little boy. Thus far, we have defnitely enjoyed our journey as parents, but were definitely a little apprehensive as to adding a third baby. I wanted it so much, but just wasn't sure it was the best timing. Sometimes, I've learned, Heavenly Father has a little hand in the timing of things.

On December 30, 2010 we went in for our first appointment. We were given an ultrasound at that appointment to measure the dates and to recieve and accurate due date. As the ultrasound tech performed the ultrasound we were excited to see our third little baby for the first time. The ultrasound quickly came to a close and the ultrasound tech became quiet and typed her report. As I read what she typed I could tell something seemed to be wrong. The doctor came in as she was finishing the report and gave a solemn mmm... Then proceeded to explain to us that a measurement at the back of the neck (the nuchal translucency) was measuring large at 4.0 mm, usually found below 2.0mm. The doctor then explained to us that our baby has an increased risk of being born with a chromosome disorder, most likely Down Syndrome.



We left the office that day feeling confused and as though what we were told was a certain outcome. I cried, I questioned, I went from expecting a healthy little baby to a very uncertain future.



As I read through the paperwork given to us by the doctor, I focused on the Chromosome Abnormality information. I read about a First Trimester Screen that would allow us to have another ultrasound and bloodwork drawn to come up with a ratio of the likelihood our baby had a chromosome disorder. I called the following Monday and scheduled to go in on January 11, 2011.


During the appointment at the Perinatal clinic, the doctor didn't give us much more reassuring news. The nuchal translucency still measured large (can be seen above, the black space behind the babies head and neck area) and the dr. wasn't able to find the lower left arm. She told us that our baby didn't likely have Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21), but most likely had Trisomy 13 or 18. Which means the 13th or 18th chromosome is tripled and if we wanted to know we needed to perform the diagnostic testing within 2 days. I had already done research on all of these disorders and was well aware that children with Trisomy 13 or 18 may survive to birth, but would not live longer than a year because of the severe complications that occur. I was devastated and couldn't believe that this was the news I was hearing, I was sure we would be told that things were okay. So, with fear we were faced with and an even more uncertain future we chose to have the testing done the next day.

The procedure took quite a bit of time to prepare for and we were told that there was a high chance of a miscarriage mainly because the circumstances of this pregnancy showed we wouldn't likely carry this baby to term anyway. They used the ultrasound throughout the procedure and used a long needle to obtain a sample from the placenta. We would find out the fate of our little baby within a week. I had no complications arrise from the procedure and stayed on pins and needles throughout the next weeking waiting to hear the dreaded news.

On January 19 we were told that our baby did not have Trisomy 13, 18 or 21 and that it was a little BOY!! I was so excited to hear the news after feeling like the dr's made it out to be certain our baby had some type of chromosome disorder. A day later we recieved the call stating all 46 chromosomes came back normal. However, we were told that there was a chance that the baby still had a chromsome issue and we would discuss further testing at our next appointment.

On January 26 we went in to meet with the specialists again. We were told that the baby still didn't have a left hand, but had both of the bones in the lower left arm. The nuchal translucency, now the nuchal fold was now measuring in the normal range, which is a positive sign. We chose not to have any further testing done on the sample that was taken and to try to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.

I felt movements from my little guy on February 2 and they keep getting stronger and stronger. I can't believe what a joy it is to feel the little kicks and turns. It literally brings a smile to my face and a light to my day each time I feel him move.


On February 23 we went in and saw our little boy again. He has a smile on his face in this picture. He is growing well and moves a lot!! The dr's can hardly get still images of him. The dr said she was sure I didn't feel every movement he made and that was a good thing- because he is a mover! I wouldn't mind feeling them all though. Our little boy definitely doesn't have a left hand and the reason behind it is unknown at this time. I can't help but think what I did wrong, but there isn't anything I've done or haven't done to cause this. They are monitoring his heart closely for possible defects, which can be related to a left arm problem. So far it looks normal, we will meet with the Pediatric cardiologist on March 30th. Then we'll meet with an Orthopeadic surgeon in the third trimester. The drs will continue to monitor his growth and we will hopefully meet our little boy around July 23, 2011.

Throughout this experience I have definitely had the opportunity for growth. I went from wondering how we would do with a third child to wondering if we would be given the opportunity to have this little baby. I have questioned a lot and prayed even more. I know that our Father in Heaven has a reason for everything and I know that this little boy will be more of a blessing to our family than I can even imagine right now. I'm so gratefulf for this experience. It has given me the opportunity to question my Saviors love and to understand it all over again and in a whole new light. I know that our Savior loves us and stands by our side, I know that he is there for us no matter how high the waters may come. As hard as it may be at times to lean on him, I am slowly learning that if I do I can conquer things that I would have never imagined and even come out understanding a little more in the end.

Our little boy will be named Christian Rafael. Christian, follower of Christ, after my Great Grandfather whom I remember with such fondness. Such a loving, gentle man with a great smile, oh how I loved sitting on his lap in his recliner. Rafael, meaning God has healed, Antonio's Grandfather, whom I only met once, but in the one meeting he told me of his belief of Angels and how he knows that they exist among us. May both of these dear men be Angels guiding my little boy throughout his life on this earth. I'm sure they have already been by his side as God has played a role in helping our little boy to have a chance at survival in this world.