Safe in my arms

From the moment I found out I was expecting Hallie I promised myself I would enjoy her infancy, for the moments pass so quickly.

With Emma, being a first time mom I remember being on edge, thinking she needed to sleep by herself or she'd become attached to my arms and never learn. Well, I slowly began to realize that babies need that attachment and gave in to Emma, but not without the guilt of what if...

Hallie however, has not given me the chance to wonder... She's been attached to me from the beginning and only seems to be comfortable if she is being held. She has given me the blessing of not being able to second guess if what I'm doing is right, because she won't have it any other way.

It is amazing to hold this tiny infant in my arms and see the comfort and contentment on her face when she snuggles her little face next to me, just to say, "I know you're there". It's these

moments that make me realize how great a job it is to be a mother and how our arms can be the most treasured gift in those first months of life and beyond.

Hallie Mabelle

My beautiful Hallie Mabelle was born on June 15 at 11:45 pm. We arrived at the hospital at 7:00 am that morning after being in labor the whole night before. When we arrived I was 3cm dialated and very excited that my body had actually gone into labor on its own. I was able to walk around and get in the tub during my labor because of the new wireless monitors, so the experience of the labor was wonderful. Antonio and I were alone and able to bond through the experience of bringing our daughter into the world. At 11:00 am they came to check me and break my water, I was dialated to a 4 and my water had already broke on its own. The pain was intense, but so worth it! After all, I had wanted this experience ever since I had Emma. At 3:00 and 8:00 they checked me and I was still a 4. I hoped I would progress further,but knew that a c-section would be the next step. The midwives and doctor gave me plenty of opportunity to try to get the labor to progress. However, at 11:00 we decided that the c-section would be the best and safest delivery for my little girl. Although it is still hard for me to accept that I will never have the chance to deliver my babies, I am glad that Hallie made it safely into my arms!After our four day stay in the hospital, we were excited to take our little girl home! Although I must say, the four days were nice and gave me time to try to rest and recover!

Emma was very excited to see her new little sister at home. She wanted to hold her and care for her from her the minute she met her. The adjustment has gotten a little more difficult this week, but Emma loves and adores her little sis. Hallie is adjusting well and is as beautiful as ever. I am so blessed to have a baby to hold in my arms and love and cuddle. I am aware now at how quickly they grow. I pray I can hold on to these moments and treasure them forever!

This was Hallie for her first outing! Isn't she just beautiful! She really is "berry" sweet! At her two week appointment yesterday she weighed 8lbs 5.5 oz, that 1 lb 2 oz more than a week ago. I am so excited to see her happy, healthy and growing. Being a mom has to be the best job in the world!

A Camping Adventure

Before I move on to my beautiful Hallie, I thought I should post about our adventurous camping trip. Santana, Gabe and my family all decided to go camping at the end of May, when I was 38 weeks pregnant. I knew I was crazy, but I thought our family wouldn't have the chance for outdoor adventures if we didn't go out on a limb and just decide to try it out. The first night was a disaster. We arrived after 10pm, Santana and Gabe had already set up camp (that was nice), and Emma didn't want to wind down for bed. So, we basically stayed up the whole night, with cat naps in between. Emma didn't want anything to do with the tent, I don't blame her when she's used to her nice cozy room. So, Emma and Mommy ended up sleeping on the seats in the back of the car for about 2 hours. That was quite hard being 38 weeks pregnant!


However, the next day Emma proved to be the best little camper. She took her nap in the tent and spent the rest of the day roaming the outdoors and enjoying hot chocolate. She had a blast!!

She thought she owned the camp grounds. She is a natural!

Mom, Manuel, Santana, Gabe, Antonio and Kylee all got to ride the river rafts, while Emma and I held up camp. We witnessed some beautiful accents of nature in the meantime. It was a lot of fun!

These are the macho men, that made fun of the girls that were excited to have a shower near by. Little did we know they would spend the $6 in quarters that mom left on their own showers. Leaving the girls scrounging for change!! After all, they didn't want to smell like fish!

So, lesson learned, if we're going to camp, we need to arrive early so the little ones can get used to the environment before you expect them to sleep in it. And, bring enough quarters for even the macho men to have a shower. We had a blast and enjoyed all of the yummy food and fond memories. Thanks Tana and Gabe!

A Blessing

Today Emma received her Baby Blessing. I am so grateful for the opportunity she had to be given this. It was an absolute amazing experience. Typically the mothers are not a part of the actual blessing, but since Emma is not an infant I got to go up and hold her on my lap. We were a little worried about her reaction to all the Priesthood holders gathering around her and laying their hands on her head. However, as Daddy carried her up there she was calm and sat on the chair with me. Then the Priesthood began to gather around, she looked around a little worried, but the last one to come up was Uncle Gabe. She saw him through the middle of the other men and held her arms out to him in such a warm, welcoming way. As they laid their hands on her head she was completely calm and relaxed. I also felt this way, it's amazing what the Priesthood can do!
This day we are so blessed to have had my sisters and the example of their families. We are so blessed to have been touched so much by baby Shane and his wonderful spirit. We are so blessed to be where we are in our lives today and have a true and growing relationship with our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. We are so blessed to have Emma and to be trusted by Heavenly Father to bring her up in the light of Christ.

Emma is blessed to have a Daddy that offered a beautiful blessing upon her. She is a sweet, kind and loving little girl that I know will touch many throughout her life. She has a very soft but strong spirit about her. I hope that she will grow to know and love her Heavenly Father and be able to share her love to help others. She is an amazing blessing to us and I am so grateful for her and the way she has touched our lives! What a beautiful gift to have the opportunity to be a mother and to be trusted with such innocent spirits that are in need of the nurturing and truth of the word of God.

Off to the doctor...

So, It's a little silly that I post on this blog considering I only have two readers..... But, when there's noone to talk to, and I'm a talker, I guess you've gotta do something!

I went to the doctor today for a 34 week check up (almost 35 weeks pregnant). I was supposed to see an MD, because of the whole c-section thing. However, I got there about 15 mins. early, which is a miracle, and the lady said I didn't have an appointment, quite rudely. Then she stated that the doctor wasn't even in on Thursday's, but she could schedule me for tomorrow. A little flustered and upset because I just threw away my appointment card, that said 4/30/09 at 8:50 am, I told her I wouldn't come back tomorrow. So, she checked to see if my midwife would see me. All along I had a screaming little 19 month old, because she's sick. When she returned she told me that I was supposed to call to set up an appointment, that I had never set one. Now, I may be a little absent minded, but I don't think I make up appointments that suit me in my head! So, I chose the other side and went along, because of course all humans don't like to admit fault, so I figured she could sit on her pedestal. Of course, all along I was wishing I hadn't thrown away that card just yesterday. My midwife felt bad and understood the situation, but I was still upset, as you can tell. Then of course I had Emma screaming until her face turned blue when they had to check the heart rate and measurements because she hates for anybody to touch me. It was adventurous to say the least.

On a brighter note, Emma dropped her book at the doctors and a lady picked it up for her and Emma quickly signed "thank you" to the lady. I'm so proud of her, I showed her this on Saturday when we were crossing the parking lot, how quick she is to pick up on things! It's pretty amazing. Also, baby looks perfect and my measurements are finally catching up, I was a little worried.

So, on to the next appointment on 5/15/09, I'll be keeping that appoinment card! It's supposed to be a 36 week appoinment, but I'll just be 3 days shy of 37 weeks, which is frustrating considering the c-section is right around the corner. Bummer! Well, off to the internet realm! I vented, it's just not as good as actually talking to someone :(

Emma has amazed me over the past few weeks with her quickly developing ability to communicate. She has become a little girl, instead of my little baby. She is taking on her own independence and understanding of situations. She amazes me with each passing day. I see her growing into her own little person, with A LOT of me shining through!

Tonight as I took our new Foster Daughter to buy clothes, Emma got to stay home with Daddy. When I got home, these are the pictures that I was shown:

Emma and her daddy love sharing popcorn. Just as much, I guess Pooh loves having a little bit too! Ton said that she would dunk Pooh's face in the popcorn saying, "yummy, yummy, yummy". She's just too adorable. A little nurturer at heart, I guess. Everyone needs a little snack once in a while, I'm sure he would have preferred HONEY, but it's the thought that counts!

Easter (A little late, but for the record)

Emma had a blast coloring Easter Eggs! I always tend to get stressed out around these important events because I want them to be perfect and, well, I'm an amateur. I always underestimate how simplicity can bring about fun memories. So, once I let loose a little, Emma was so much fun to watch as she tried to pile the eggs into the dye and spill it everywhere. But, I have to admit hers did come out the best. She's a natural!!
On Easter morning we were a little rushed to get to church by 9:00, so she didn't have time to explore her basket. However, she did find two brightly colored "balls" quickly and threw them across the living room as she yelled "ball". With a frantic and late mommy saying, "No sweety, those are eggs, they break!" It was a fun pre-easter egg hunt in our own living room!
Then, at Mimi's she had a head start to the other teenagers that were there to share in the official hunt. I was a little down because typically Hannah, Eden and Hyrum would be right by her side. But, she had a blast and had to take her stroller to gather the eggs. She was picky though, if it was broken, she threw it back. That's my girl!!

I hope that as my children grow older I am able to incorporate Christ into this Holiday more fully. I had wonderful plans of doing it this year. However, as I mentioned before I get carried away and if it doesn't turn out I am overwhelmed and defeated before I begin. So, throughout the day I tried to keep the true spirit and reason for Easter within my heart and mind. I am truly grateful for my Savior and the suffering that he endured on my behalf. I am amazed at how my relationship has grown through the past two years. Without it, my life wouldn't be as meaningful as it is this day.

Sisters

Words cannot express how grateful I am to have been blessed with SISTERS. They have taught me, listened to me, cried with me, laughed with me and all along been the examples that have brought me to where I am in my life today.

How the Lord seems to work in ways we'll never quite understand. Through pain and heartache, laughter and joy I've seem to become a better person. I know there is a plan for all of us to be happy and return to our Heavenly Father. I know that the hard times we face here are only a mere glimpse of what our Savior experienced. I know that through each trial we are able to experience more joy and beauty that is intended for us. I know as I strive to live each day the best to my ability and knowledge that I will one day be with my family eternally, including my wonderful SISTERS.

Although I may not be physically close to all of my sisters, I know that we are all still connected and that they will continue to influence, guide and help me to continue to grow and learn as a daughter of our Heavenly Father.

Thank you for all you've done, my mind can't seem to grasp how my life would be without all of you in it. The amazing experiences that I've been able to partake in, because of your example, have become the image of who I am. Thank you for being wonderful mothers, wives, servants of our Lord and especially SISTERS. I am eternally grateful because of you and because of you I have the opportunity to be eternally grateful. I love you with all my heart! Thank You!

It's about time...

I know, I know it's about time I posted to our blog. I never have the words to say what I'd like to say, so I begin a post, save it and never post it. I'll try to be better.

It's about time Antonio and I had a little time to ourselves! Our foster daughter left for the weekend in the spur of the moment and Emma already had plans to go spend the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. So, Ton and I had major FUN plans to clean our garage and go to the dump!! Yea!! Sounds like fun, huh?

Well, I quickly changed those plans, once I realized we had some time to ourselves. I called and got us a room at a bed and breakfast (a miracle on Valentine's weekend) and planned a play and dinner. Well, we didn't make it to the play because we took too long saying bye to our little girl, but we did have a nice relaxing time!

I thought I'd post a picture of the pregnancy. This is me 24 weeks pregnant with Hallie Mabelle. Hallie means "praise the Lord" and Mabelle means "lovable". So, were sure to be blessed with a precious little girl come June! I know... I 'm huge, but loving every minute OR trying!

Although it was nice having time to ourselves, we sure did miss this little girl. It's so much fun having her around! She ended up sleeping the rest of the day because she only sleeps well in her crib, but it was a joy to see her again and have her smile light up our day. So, time alone is great, but time with our family seems to be even greater!